Endings and Beginnings

Lately I've been thinking a lot about endings and beginnings. I just graduated college in May and spent the last few months at a summer camp in West Virginia as a videographer so my life has taken quite a turn in regard to degrees and living arrangements. Other circumstances have forced me to pause and think hard about what I want to do from here and who I want to share in my experiences down the road.

So, here I am at the daunting brink of ending summer and beginning the decisions that will inevitably lead me to the next chapter which will, I suppose, bring me to the rest of my life.

What now?

Well, I start with what I know: I'm 24. I've still got time to decide and change my mind as many times as I want to and still remain within acceptable social limits for flip-flopping through life decisions. So far so good. What else? I don't have much tying me down back home. I could literally go anywhere from here. So where do I go?

That's the question.

See, I'm not that kind of person that flippantly makes decisions. I like to remain within the limits of a small margin for error. "Drastic" generally isn't in my vocabulary. I think some of you will understand that. But "safe" and "small" are not in my list of adjectives anymore. Everything I've learned about myself this summer has proved to me that the bigger I aim for the more I will receive.

Endings and beginnings. I suppose you might be asking why I named this post that instead of beginnings and endings. It could just be because it was more artful to switch the phrase so it wouldn't sound as cliche. Or it could be because I've read a lot about the Celts and how they would celebrate funerals because they meant that someone was being born in the Otherworld. Or it could merely be because while things are winding down and everything around me seems to be ending while I'm not  ready yet and to end the title with "beginnings" seems more positive and less final.

Finality. There's a word that seems to stick around.

Finality and patience. To let things be and let things come when they will.

I guess that's life.

Because life is all about guessing.

And hoping.

And loving.

And hurting.

And somehow it all seems worth it in the end.

We live a vicious cycle. But the cycle wouldn't have it any other way. And neither would I.